8 Survival Tips for having a Traveling Husband

So Keith is back from quite a long stint of traveling, and after our first few days together we landed up discussing what it’s like being in a marriage where a spouse travels, we then further discussed what lands up working and helping while Keith is away and how over the years we’ve just naturally formed a system on how to deal with a traveling husband.

I have always joked with people that I am basically an army wife, forever thinking of care packages to send wherever Keith may be, constantly counting down days until my husband returns and the willingness to always be able to pack up and move wherever we’re needed. I’m thankful Keith is not actually going off to war, although sometimes it feels like he’s in the wars. There are always bumps and bruises to deal with, the never-ending aches and pains of a fast bowler and of course there is the endless supply of Cataflam and Slow-Mag in our house that we might as well start a dispensary. It may sound like a lot but it has formed part of our routine, and luckily for me the traveling is really only for about 6 months, but nonetheless it can become a very trying aspect to deal with.

Traveling during a pandemic becomes a whole other ball game all together. The bulk of lockdown in 2020 did not affect the cricket season too badly but once the season started our lives were turned upside down. On Keith’s side of things, he has been having a weekly COVID-19 tests, and sometimes more than one within a week. From January 2021 cricket tours turned into Bio-Bubbles (these are secure and sealed off COVID-19-free environments in which various teams with their coaching staff etc. enter and are not allowed to leave until the end of the tournament). This became extremely strenuous as these bubbles would last between two to three weeks. For Keith, as well as other players I’m sure, this became difficult because he’s such a busy body and doesn’t cope well to being confined to isolation in a hotel room and not being able to be out and about. Their first Bio-Bubble even entailed the players eating their food alone in their rooms to take out as much contact with one another as possible. This kind of environment was not normal, and no matter how experienced we are in dealing with cricket tours, these bubbles became increasingly difficult to deal with mentally and I think everyone has their limits before cabin fever starts to set in.

When dealing with a hubby on the road I have found it’s really important for me to have my life in order. As much as I want to be there for Keith when he’s homesick, hurt or dealing with disappointment, or even dealing with accomplishment because at the end of the day it’s hard not having your loved one physically around to celebrate with you too, I still have to make sure I’m okay and on my own feet before I can play that role. I think sometimes as women we forget that we cannot pour from an empty cup. The only way I can best be there for my husband is if I look after myself and that I am firing on all cylinders.

So I’ve put together a list of things that I find help me immensely while Keith is away. From housework to entertainment to just coping with my being alone in the house. Most of these are actually products that I feel are worth their weight in gold and others are just small tricks that I add here and there that help me knuckle down and keep my routine. It goes without saying that we are all individuals so these essentials are relevant to me and who I am and how I go about my daily business. I hope these help you in whatever way they can, whether it be to simplify your crazy household that’s teeming with kids or even if your spouse also travels and perhaps you can draw some inspiration to help you out.

#1 – Midea Air Fryer

So straight off the bat (no pun intended) I’m starting with my favourite household appliance! I absolutely love cooking but when Keith is away, cooking for one can become an extremely tedious task. Cooking for one can be such an inconvenience, half of the ingredients you buy land up spoiling before you get to use them all, it creates unnecessary dishes considering its only one person eating and you just land up getting take-outs and eating junk out of pure convenience.

This Air-Fryer honestly has made the world of a difference, it is quick and clean and is just all-round easy going. I’ve made some awesome creations in the Air Fryer and has kept meals really simple. I don't think I could ever thank Fourways enough for this gem.

I’ll follow up with some of my Air Fryer recipes, because I think getting this whole “cooking for one” thing down has made a huge difference while Keith is away. I found I enjoyed the challenge I set for myself to make it fun, and instead of complaining about it I decided to throw myself into it.

#2 – Wozza Meat Co. Packs

While we are on the topic of food, the meat hampers from Wozza Meat Co. in Ballito are the real super heroes. In general we buy their family packs and that usually sees us for the month in terms of meat. This last month while Keith’s been away I grabbed their ‘Bachelorette’ hamper, it has been amazing, it’s got lamb chops and some lovely cuts of steaks and so much more, in total it is 22 meals. Perfect for anyone cooking for themselves.

#3 – Daily Devotional

Next up is a book I got from a friend of mine for Christmas and has been a blessing. I am a firm believer in morning routine and Walk out on the Water by Caitlyn De Beer forms part of it. I’ve really enjoyed her insight and the perspective it gives me first thing in the morning when I’m enjoying my morning coffee.

There are plenty of daily devotionals out there to add insight to whatever your situation is, I find this particular one is quite general and broad and focuses on the day-to-day dealings of women of faith.

#4 – Home Environment/Décor

This one is usually an extremely overlooked concept in a home. A house doesn’t need high class, award-winning décor but I do believe a house needs to be a home, and in being a home needs to be a destination. This can apply for when Keith is here too but I definitely feel it applies especially when he’s not.

What I mean about home being a destination is that it actually needs to be a place you like to spend time. It’s easy to distract yourself when your partner is away but this lands up becoming either costly for your pocket because you’re always heading out or its costly on your mind because you don’t actually get that down time that you would have spending time at home with hubby. If your home just looks and feels good, you actually wouldn’t mind being there.

How I make my home a destination is by bringing the outdoors in. I love feeling like the bush is all around me or even as if I’m living in a lodge, or nothing beats our vintage pieces that makes me feel like I’ve gone back in time to a bygone era of an African safari. Along with our vintage pieces that I’m sure would be very hard to come by in 2021, it wouldn’t be home without our Zebra hide rug or Marseille Blue Le Crueset mugs.

A huge part of a home environment is the bedroom, and especially because that is where you’ll notice your husband is gone the most. When you get used to sleeping next to somebody it’s very hard to adjust to them being gone, a way I found to make this a little bit easier is having amazing linen! I love a bed that is actually exciting to climb into and makes you feel like you’re in a hotel, drifting off on a dream. We got our bedding at @Home, all their jewel colours are to die for at the moment.

#5 – Self-care Essentials

Pamper days are my favourite and everyone I chat to knows how much I enjoy my ‘me-time’, but having a self-care day when Keith is away is probably one of my favourite things. I feel like I get to completely reset and readjust.

Keith’s traveling doesn’t necessarily make life more hectic, it obviously adds just a new set of challenges, and part of those challenges is how hectic things can get mentally. I am a firm believer that an idle mind is a dangerous one, and I find often that when Keith is on a cricket tour I can get consumed by thinking of him. Time gets taken up by watching his scores, endless messages about what he’s doing, what is he eating, when is what, why is who, and as soon as there is a moment of silence my brain starts ticking over. Absence makes the heart grow fonder but it definitely can make the brain grow obsessive, so that’s why a demarcated ‘me-time’ to switch off to all of that is so important. I get to switch off, put my phone away, lock the doors and tell myself “life is still carrying on here, you need to still live the life that’s happening here, focus on you and recentre”.

The best way to just stop idling and kick into gear is to invest in yourself. My form of investment is a little time and some fabulous products that make me feel on top of the world. I love a good bubble bath, but at the moment I’ve been having rooibos baths, I literally throw two teabags in a hot bath or make a cup of rooibos to throw into a cooler bath (I live in KZN, sometimes a cool bath is desirable). Rooibos is high in antioxidants so it’s obviously so good for your body to soak in and helps it with healing. I also tend to throw a few drops of lavender and chamomile in, and burn some other essential oils depending on what I feel I need at the time.

I really enjoy my skincare, and adding to the ‘me-time’ mix is the wonderful Esse Skincare range (there will be a full review of the products I’ve been using coming very soon). When I’m having a pamper day it’s not without the Esse Refining Cleanser and Esse Clay mask, they are gentle but effective and just make the world of a difference.

#6 – Essential Oils

Essential Oils… the gifts that just keep on giving. I grew up with a mother who is an aroma therapist so having oils used around has never been foreign, but it’s only once I’ve been running my own home do I realise how beneficial a few drops here and there can be.

I use a roller every morning, the Revival Blend from SOiL, but I do use essential oils throughout the entire day. I burn certain oils when I’m cooking to deter flies, I place drops on my pillows to aid in a good night’s sleep, and I even add some oils into housework. Essential oils are the bombdiggidy, and if you don’t ‘believe’ in their properties then at least they smell nice.

Like I mentioned above; I use SOiL Oils. They have such a wide range and many different options and accessories to choose from. What I also love about them is that they are KZN based and I think supporting as local as possible is very important.

#7 – Books

Now this is a simple one. As much as I enjoy a good series and adore movies I know it’s important to limit my screen time. When husbands are away it’s easy to fall into the hole of binge-watching series, but I know for me as I am sure it is for many others, this never actually helps in feeling better or in getting more productive. We’ll complain about not having enough hours in the day for exercise or cooking etc. but we’ll spend two or three hours watching a show. One of my biggest problems with binge-watching though is how mindless it becomes and we land up still sitting on our phones, scrolling through social media or even working till whatever hour of the evening, personally this leads to my brain being over stimulated.

My solution to this entertainment dilemma – reading. I love books, from autobiographies to novels to reference books. Reading allows my brain to focus on one thing and not be tempted to look at my phone every two seconds. I know not everyone is a reader, and the only solution I have for you there is to try and get into it, because once you do you’ll never be bored again.

The latest book I just finished is Red Earth by Tony Park. Absolutely loved reading an African adventure set in my home province of KZN and an adventure set in the bush, it was wonderful to know I’ve been to the places I read about and being able to escape to Zululand from the comfort of my Durban apartment.

#8 – Friends & Family

Last but certainly not least, is something that no amount of money could ever buy. Surrounding yourself with good friends and family while your spouse is away is imperative. I’m lucky to have the ‘WAGS’ (Wives and Girlfriends) here in Durban. We all understand what it’s like to have our partners away and we all get to lean on each other through the ups and downs. Family is also important, sometimes our actual relatives are far away but in the 21st century, mom is just a phone call away ;)

So there you have it, my top eight to dealing with a traveling husband. It’s a difficult lifestyle no doubt, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. Although it may come with its many challenges, it has also come with so many blessings that I have begun to lose count. With everything in life preparation always softens the blow, being well equipped helps adjusting and having all these little things put in place makes a big difference with day-to-day living.

(All the links to all the products are found throughout the paragraphs, but if you do have any questions please send them through, and most importantly please send through any suggestions you have for surviving a traveling husband, I'd love to build on to this with different perspectives.)

If I can give any advice to a wife of a traveling husband, is to just get your life in order. Think of what you need and make sure all your bases are covered, but most importantly be your own person living a full life and a life full of joy.